New year resolution.

Firstly, if you're one of those people who think I won't stick to this. Fuck you.

My new year resolution, that I shall start tomorrow, is to do 10k on the exercise bike every day. If I miss a day, the next day I have to do the amount that I missed plus the amount for that day. To be honest, I know what I mean and don't really care if you don't understand it because, quite frankly, it's not your resolution.

ANYWAY, this is all in my hopes to lose weight, I know I can do it, and I'm determined to, so I'm going to. Now all I have to do is address my unhealthy relationship with food.

Hope you all had a good Christmas and that you all have a great new year. Just keep that determination to stick to your resolution, even if you stick to it just to prove to the people who don't think you can!!

Until next time my beautiful readers.

Being an insignificant member of society.

We all think we're mega important. And yeah, maybe, if we're unlucky enough, we'll be in the limelight. I say unlucky because, well, everyone wants a bit of fame, to be noticed, to be 'famous' or idolised. But why? Is it all that it's cracked up to be? I can understand that people want to be appreciated and known, and sometimes life would be easier if we were rolling in it, paid to do interviews with magazines and news papers and paid to star on tv shows. But if it came to it, would you really enjoy it? Having paparazzi take your picture at every possible moment; I don't know about you, but the idea of my mug shot with no make up and hair scraped up plastered in the papers all over the world is my idea of hell. If that makes me vein then so be it.

I was thinking earlier, it would be absolutely wicked if I was significant enough for random people who live a million miles away to want to read my blog. I don't know why, I just think it's pretty cool to have someone you don't even know have an interest in your opinions, what you ate for lunch, or what you dreamt about last night. But again, that might just be me?

I do however take some pleasure in being an unimportant individual. Every day is different, some days I want to be noticed, but others, I want to walk through town and be invisible. I like having times where I don't have to have an opinion or have to have a say. Life's easier on those days.

But back to my original point; we all think we're mega important in life. To ourselves, of course we are, but to that random guy living in Iran, my life is insignificant. It's nice to have days where we feel important, worth something, or just generally acknowledged. But I think it's definietly important to be realistic and grounded; we're all just people. Just skin, bones and organs. That's where we're all the same. Add in emotions and you have yourslef religion, culture and subculture. But no one is more important just because they can sing pitch perfect, or write outstanding novels.

Think about life in scale to the country, the world, the universe. Whether I write this blog or not, it all continues, it all carrys on. We're all insignificant. But we can dream we're something bigger. It gives us hope and motivation. If that's what we need, then why not?

Okay so it's December again...

December is genuinely my favourite month of the year. Not only does it mean that the shitty year ends and we all get to make New Years resolutions we all know we're not going to stick to, it means Christmas baby! And it's not about getting stuff for me - oh how mature I am ;). Christmas for me is about family time, as lovely and cheesy as that is. As a family, we argue, there's no point sugar coating it and making out we're all best friends; most of the time we hate each other. Of course we love each other, but we rarely like each other. December is the month where we feel closest, and don't feel the need to argue. Okay, that doesn’t start until at least the 15th but knowing it's coming makes me happy.

I was shopping in town the other day and hearing Christmas songs genuinely made me feel happy inside, and this is a rarity in itself. There’s something so magical about Christmas time, and I know it should all be about the birth of Christ and not about getting shit loads of gifts, and I understand that, but for me, Christmas is about making my family and friends happy. I’m not a religious person, I tried it out; I've only ever been to Catholic schools/colleges, got baptised and took my communion, but it’s just not me. I prefer to see myself as a spiritual person. I don’t want to follow a God, or a set of commandments. If there is a God, he (or she) should be happy with my efforts to be a good person, and my belief in there being more to life.

How, and why, I got onto the subject of religion is beyond me. My mind just wanders. That’s why I’m terrible at this whole blog thing. I start each entry with the plan to stick to a subject, but as I type, my mind opens up, and this massive trail of thought ends up going from talking about a book to the taste of my tea to how the world is unfair. It’s how my mind works I guess, must be frustrating for you readers though. I’m not apologising though, no one’s forcing you to read this. And if they are, I hope you make it out alive and safe.

Anyway, this has completely changed from the original point. I hope you all have a magical December and Christmas. Make the most of the special time you have with your family. Even if there’s friction, take a back seat and realise that these moments are all memories we look back and smile at. Life isn’t all that bad.

New starts and stuff.

Okay, so I realised it's been AGES yet again since my last post. So here I am. I hope you are all well and enjoying life and all that jazz.

Anyway, I'm here because life has taken a major turning point for me, and I did say I'd post when things got remotely interesting. So here goes.

I quit college. I hate the word quit, because I'm not a quitter, and I don't feel like I've quite. So I'm actually having a 'long break from edication'. But for all of you, I've quit. It'll take an extremely long post to try and get you to understand *why* I've quit, and quite frankly I don't really want to plaster deep and meaningfuls all over my blog. I'll get deep and shit but there's some things that are best unsaid. Anyway, it wasn't an easy decision, those of you that know me would know how I hate giving up on something that I've put so much into. It's definitely the best decision though, I was extremely unhappy and college stress was the largest contributing factor. So here is where my rant on education begins...

All of this is merely opinion, and as ever if you disagree, feel free to comment or say absolutely nothing. To me, some education is crucial. *Some*. As education is recognised as a secondary source of socialisation, I believe it's important for children and young adults to learn social norms, values and beliefs to ensure that society functions well. Having people who understand and respect social norms, values and beliefs helps to ensure that crime and defiance is kept to a minimum. Obviously other factors contribute to crime and defiance levels, but that is another post all together. I think that education needs to focus more on "right and wrong" because, personally, I think being a 'good person' overpowers whether or not you can find Bulgaria on a map and tell someone it's exact coorindates. You can be the best scientist in your class, but be an utter dick to the people around you. Where's that going to get you? I know that a lot of people benefit from being an arsehole, and that works for a lot of people, but how can they honestly be happy knowing they've hurt so many people?

From another view, education is one of the most stressful factors of ones young life. I'll check my Facebook home page and Twitter news feed in the evening and the majority of posts are 'omg so much coursework!' or 'this essay is never going to be finished, no sleep for me!'. And I know that sometimes or most of the time this is down to the individual leaving it to the latest possible moment to start their work (I know because I've been there), however this if either a case of pure laziness or not enough time/concentration or energy. If it's down to laziness, more fool you. If it's due to other factors, I can empathise. For me, I had a million and one other things constantly running through my head, so writing a 4 page essay on the first stage of child development, interesting as it were, was the least of my worries. I loved, and still love, every one of my A2 subject choices, and will definitely continue then at some point. But for me, right now, education is not a benefit, it was sucking the life and soul out of me to the point where my health was seriously affected.

I'm 18 years old. I'm young and if I'm lucky, have a long life ahead of me. There are some things that you can't do once you're over a certain age, or when you have responsibilities such as marriage, children and full time careers. I want to live my life while I can? I don't want to spend my youth with sleepless nights worrying about my personal statement or whether my UCAS application has been accepted, or even what university I want to go to! I want to spend my time making good memories, taking shit loads of photographs of it all so that the memories never fade. I think everyone my age should embrace life before it gets shitter and bloody enjoy it! So for me, education, at this age, sucks.

Until next time.